New girl has already been stood up once in this goddamn city, wastes two whole weeks crying about it, and still goes out to meet you anyway. New girl watches you pick at the mint leaves in your mojito and feels pretty okay for the first time since she stepped off the plane at LHR. New girl has three drinks while you talk about your ex-girlfriends.

New girl can’t tell if you’re flirting or not, watches your hands shake across the table, makes fun of your cool-dad aesthetic. New girl agrees to go out with you again. New girl isn’t going to sugar coat it, she is pretty happy to go out with you again. New girl has some errands to run. New girl figures there are sights to see in this foggy city. New girl thinks: hey, maybe things are turning around.

New girl wakes up Saturday morning giddy because god it feels so good to have a reason to get up and do things. New girl wants to do things. New girl waits to do things. New girl waits.

New girl spends Saturday wondering what the fuck is wrong with her when you don’t show up (or call or text). New girl turns the lights off and sits on the couch and makes self-depreciating jokes on Twitter and then deletes them. New girl cries once (or maybe twice but doesn’t feel like clarifying). New girl wonders when you decided not to show up, whether it was the night before or something spur of the moment. New girl wonders if she was putting lipstick on while you were deciding whether or not she was worth the effort.

New girl reads the poem you wrote about her. New girl almost forgets you are a poet until she sees it. New girl doesn’t like her moniker, never volunteered to be your NEW GIRL, never signed up to take part in the fucked up ways you deal with your emotions. New girl doesn’t care for your “it’s not you, it’s me” bullshit. New girl doesn’t think you’re edgy just because you can’t even remember the color of her eyes. New girl doesn’t appreciate being left hanging just to become a narrative point in your shitty writing.

New girl doesn’t wish you any luck finding a new girl. New girl thinks maybe you should come with a fucking disclaimer.