hashtagdion:

Fuck the queue function. I’m hitting y’all with four straight hours of whirlwind shitposting followed by eight days of radio silence.

caravanprince:

mellowstarscape:

bakvvas:

ghettoinuyasha:

silly-slacker-person:

spectralbarbholland:

apartmentofstabs:

gadgethewolf:

starry-nightengale:

awesomealfry:

doorstoplord:

incendiarysongbird:

safety-officer-barto:

kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd:

bisexualgambit:

jewishdragon:

officialqueer:

safety-officer-barto:

“Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney’s funniest bit” is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure and I will not stand for it

The overlooking of “The One Thing You Can’t Replace” is a criminal act.

LISTEN, I WAS JUST WATCHING JOHN MULANEY AND I RAISE YOU

HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA AIRLINES????

Bill Clinton Never Forgets A Bitch, Ever

The responses to this post have been so amazing because it’s reminded me, and I’m sure many others, of just how many hilarious bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd

okay, but eighth graders

….. could be a nursery.

being 12 years old on anotger continent is a great alibi

“Why buy the cow, question mark?”

THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE

And then. He ordered one black coffee for himself.

And kept driving.

LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT FEMININE HIPS

“We gon play jacks down at the soda fountain”

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT YOU IDIOT

Y’know, how you talk to your grandma?

hello? HUSH

Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.

T H E R E  I S  A  H O R S E,   

L O O S E

I N  T H E  

H O S T P I T A L

Oh come on guys, really?:

EXCUUUUUUSE ME!

I am HOMELESS

I am GAY,

I have AIDS,

And I’m NEW in town!

berrystumpytail:

one potato two potato three potato four! five potato six let the bodies hit the floor!

patron-saint-of-smart-asses:

prolifeproliberty:

lutheran-wolf:

I googled “dude“ and found this

Dude.

reblog the Dude™ for clear moonlit nights

nihilistgirlfriend:

plantanarchy:

nihilistgirlfriend:

plantanarchy:

still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

A farmer, by hand and with love and care

wild bees still sexin em up when he’s not looking

old mccuckhold had a farm it seems

gabandromeda: