We sit in a circle on the bed, the four of us holding hands. We exchange energy, we giggle and smile as C talks of what our energy feels like and R soaks it all in. I am grateful to be spending this time with them, and O seems to glow. Her cats play around us, scampering about, and the wind howls across the window, blessing it with rain.

R’s eyes grow wide. “We should go be naked in the rain.”

O’s smile grows. “Lets go out in my backyard!”

I feel my grin warp my face as C and I lock eyes. “Should we?”

No one answers, we tear out of the bed and strip.

The water is ice and the wind licks the wounds as we scream in the storm.

We feel it grow as we enter, and though we can only last a few moments outside, some things were mended.

If I learned anything from growing up christian, it is that people’s relationship with what and who they believe in all change and flow. The church or whoever believes they are right can try and push their way of doing things on others.

But

There are like 33,000 Protestant denominations that didn’t like being told what to do or how to believe and went and did their own thing.

Praying for My Soul to Bloom

Athena,

Guide my mind into the open flames of change. Allow my old leaves to float away from my open hands.

Artemis,

Show me my way into the wilderness of thought, into the abysmal green lands that frighten. Let your creatures walk with me. 

Aphrodite, 

My soul searches for me, the body it carries is lost in an ocean of doubt. Wash my self-hatred from my throat. 

Hera,

Butterfly wings pull me up into the evergreen trees, because you are a believer in hearts overcoming themselves. 

Persephone, 

Darkness isn’t always a terror, a rotten thing. It binds and comforts, allows for introspection. Grow signs along my path. 

Demeter, 

She knows I walk the path of the unmade. I have much to do, but I am not broken. 

Hecate,

The wisp of wind exhales from my lips as newness is drawn into me. Love me through my transformation. 

Hestia, 

Watch as I stumble into a new welcoming place. The walk is uncomfortable, but you are holding my hand.